A Lost Blog
A cpl of years ago I came outta a 30yr drunk. A 'functioning alcoholic' is what I was. This blog was started, if can call it that, when I was the other me. He is still here, and I still like him, I just don't want to be him now. I am not totally sure why that changed.
So with this blog I am going to try to write about that guy, if I can. Some of the way he was thinking and what I think of that now. He has not been here for almost four years. He is still very close. I don't miss him. But he is part of me.
For sure there will be some rambling. And ranting. There is going to be some really good, and some really bad things too. Ah well.
Did I hit rock bottom? Yep, but I had been there before. Pain in the ass but what are ya gonna do? I just took a drink, dusted myself off, and got on with life. Ain't that what everybody does when things go wrong? Get back up? I did what I was supposed to do. So, maybe that wasn't why I changed..
I don't have a criminal record, I have clean drivers licence, my liver is good, I raised both my children until they left home and was married for 24 years then a amicable divorce. On paper, and as long as I don't give a crap about what other people think, everything was good. So, maybe that is not why I changed.
Yes, I was divorced, but I had gotten married again to a beautiful, young girl. I love her and she loves me. She has great kids. We owned a home. A car. Dogs and cats and bunnies. I had an ok job and so did she. Mowing the lawn, bagging the trash. A good life. So, maybe that wasn't it.
The old me would do the damnedest things. Fun as hell things. Move to different cities on a whim. Jump on a bus and go. Travel with buddies. Man he could dance. At least I thought so. The sex was a free for all. Girlfriends and married too. Easily talk to people. Not afraid to do things.
Taught me a lot of stuff too. For instance, I still really pay attention to the lights on my car. Always fix them if they out. I am always checking them. The thing here is not so much safety but don't give the police a reason to pull you over. Pay attention to all traffic laws. Don't speed. Ironically, being a drunk, had made me a safer driver! haha I don't know that to be totally true. But, remember that of all fatal crashes, about 60% did not involve alcohol. You are more likely to be killed by a straight driver than a drunk! They don't tell you that in those 'scary' you for sure are gonna get busted for driving commercials you always see, do they?. Haha And since I am now in the 60% group, I am more likely to kill you when I drive now than when I drank! That's too funny.
I can take booze anywhere. No joke. I have never found a single place, except jail, that I could not take alcohol. No one ever knew.(mostly) I could sit right in front of people and drink and they would not know! Bet you can't do that. But you see, I HAD to know how to do that. Absolutely HAD to know. And that is sad. And what am I gonna do with that skill now? lol I am really good at it though. Carrying booze. Maybe talk about it some more later.
So with this blog I am going to try to write about that guy, if I can. Some of the way he was thinking and what I think of that now. He has not been here for almost four years. He is still very close. I don't miss him. But he is part of me.
For sure there will be some rambling. And ranting. There is going to be some really good, and some really bad things too. Ah well.
Did I hit rock bottom? Yep, but I had been there before. Pain in the ass but what are ya gonna do? I just took a drink, dusted myself off, and got on with life. Ain't that what everybody does when things go wrong? Get back up? I did what I was supposed to do. So, maybe that wasn't why I changed..
I don't have a criminal record, I have clean drivers licence, my liver is good, I raised both my children until they left home and was married for 24 years then a amicable divorce. On paper, and as long as I don't give a crap about what other people think, everything was good. So, maybe that is not why I changed.
Yes, I was divorced, but I had gotten married again to a beautiful, young girl. I love her and she loves me. She has great kids. We owned a home. A car. Dogs and cats and bunnies. I had an ok job and so did she. Mowing the lawn, bagging the trash. A good life. So, maybe that wasn't it.
The old me would do the damnedest things. Fun as hell things. Move to different cities on a whim. Jump on a bus and go. Travel with buddies. Man he could dance. At least I thought so. The sex was a free for all. Girlfriends and married too. Easily talk to people. Not afraid to do things.
Taught me a lot of stuff too. For instance, I still really pay attention to the lights on my car. Always fix them if they out. I am always checking them. The thing here is not so much safety but don't give the police a reason to pull you over. Pay attention to all traffic laws. Don't speed. Ironically, being a drunk, had made me a safer driver! haha I don't know that to be totally true. But, remember that of all fatal crashes, about 60% did not involve alcohol. You are more likely to be killed by a straight driver than a drunk! They don't tell you that in those 'scary' you for sure are gonna get busted for driving commercials you always see, do they?. Haha And since I am now in the 60% group, I am more likely to kill you when I drive now than when I drank! That's too funny.
I can take booze anywhere. No joke. I have never found a single place, except jail, that I could not take alcohol. No one ever knew.(mostly) I could sit right in front of people and drink and they would not know! Bet you can't do that. But you see, I HAD to know how to do that. Absolutely HAD to know. And that is sad. And what am I gonna do with that skill now? lol I am really good at it though. Carrying booze. Maybe talk about it some more later.
posted by Whatcnido at 11:12 AM
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